I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now

From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO

In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!

I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!

Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..then lets try some other shoes madam

Last nite i couldnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH

come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed

Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

ya i have moved out livin with Kerri, amy, and terrie!! really cool house mates... kerri still a whore!!! (still love you!), Amy.... same sence of humor... excellent!! Terrie from Trinidad... dead mello.... lovin the space!!! wow this is my 1st personal blog too!!!

 

    You fucking Creep                         I like you, you will go far

Your IQ score is 115!

 

 

 

 

Click here

 

 

In Texas, it's against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession. In Philadelphia, you can't put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760. Alaska law says that you can't look at a moose from an airplane. In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home. In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State. In Illinois, the law is that a car must be driven with the steering wheel. California law prohibits a woman from driving a car while dressed in a housecoat. In Memphis, Tennessee, a woman is not to drive a car unless a man warns approaching motorists or pedestrians by walking in front of the car that is being driven. In Tennessee, it is against the law to drive a car while sleeping. In New York, it is against the law for a blind person to drive an automobile. In West Virginia, only babies can ride in a baby carriage. In Georgia, it is against the law to slap a man on the back or front. A barber is not to advertise prices in the State of Georgia. In Louisiana, a bill was introduced years ago in the State House of Representatives that fixed a ceiling on haircuts for bald men of 25 cents. In Oklahoma, no baseball team can hit the ball over the fence or out of a ballpark.
	In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer !
In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year. In Utah, birds have the right of way on any public highway. In Ohio, one must have a license to keep a bear. In Tennessee, a law exists which prohibits the sale of bologna (sandwich meat) on Sunday. In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates. In Providence, Rhode Island, it is against the law to jump off a bridge. In the State of Kansas, you're not allowed to drive a buffalo through a street. In Florida, it is against the law to put livestock on a school bus. In New Jersey, cabbage can't be sold on Sunday.
	In Galveston, Texas, it is illegal to have a camel run loose in the street!
In North Carolina, it is against the law for dogs and cats to fight. In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum. In Cleveland, Ohio, it is unlawful to leave chewing gum in public places. In Virginia, chickens cannot lay eggs before 8:00 a.m., and must be done before 4:00 p.m. In New York, it is against the law for children to pick up or collect cigarette and cigar butts. In Massachusetts, it is against the law to put tomatos in clam chowder. In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length. In San Francisco, there is an ordinance, which bans the picking up and throwing of used confetti. In Kentucky, it is illegal for a merchant to force a person into his place of business for the purpose of making a sale. It is against the law in Connecticut for a man to write love letters to a girl whose mother or father has forbidden the relationship. In Michigan, married couples must live together or be imprisoned.
	In the state of Colorado, a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light !
In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on. In California, a law created in 1925 makes it illegal to wiggle while dancing. In Utah, daylight must be visible between dancing couples. In Michigan, it is against the law for a lady to lift her skirt more than 6 inches while walking through a mud puddle. In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street. In Georgia, it's against the law to spread a false rumor. In West Virginia, one can't cook sauerkraut or cabbage due to the odors and the offence is subject to imprisonment. In Missouri, a man must have a permit to shave. The law states that more than 3000 sheep cannot be herded down Hollywood Blvd. at any one time. In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 2 guys singin a Mega Mix!!

 

 

This product is exempt from all special promotions and discount offers! It'll blow your mind. Do you have trouble remembering stuff? Would you sometimes like to share your memories with others? Well now you can with the IWOOT Memory Stick. Using razor edge technology that's so advanced it's really quite ahead of itself, the Memory Stick enables you to download and upload memory fragments via a temporal lobe sensor and store them on the USB Memory Stick. You can then load the memories onto your computer - essentially backing up your brain for when you forget stuff in your old age! The PC (not Mac compatible yet regrettably) software allows you to store up to an amazing ten years of memories, sort them alphabetically, and even e-mail them to friends and family - though they will need to have their own USB Memory Stick in order to 'run' them, as well as your security code to unlock them. This is the first production version and there are some very exciting developments and enhancements on the horizon - we're very much hoping that the V2 Dreamcatcher which will record your dreams (only up one hours worth at the moment, and in black and white) will be ready by Christmas. Watch this space         for more developments. How it works. Your memories are stored in the Lenthian area of you brain and replayed in your cognitive synapse clusters (CSCs) at the front of your brain. Although you never strictly speaking lose your memories, we all lose the ability to 'recall' them, i.e. to transfer them to the CSC. The TLS (Temporal Lobe Sensor) can record the memories in the Lenthian area, and then store and reply them in the cognitive synapse cluster at the front of your brain. A technical bridge that helps replace the effects of cranial ageing - brilliant. Features USB Memory Stick. 2Gig on-board memory (enough for 2½ hours of memories). USB lead and Frontal Lobe Connector. Comprehensive CD-Rom Software package E-mail compatibility. Firmware upgradeable. System Requirements: Windows 98SE,ME, 2000, XP. USB 1.1 or higher. P.C Only Warning: Not to be used if you suffer from a heart condition, work for the security services or hear voices in the night..

David Ginola   -   Vagina dildo

Teddy Sheringham   -   Teddy Minge rash

Ossie Ardiles   -   Arse is soiled

Diego Maradona   -   O dear, I'm a gonad

Tony Blair PM   -   I'm tory plan B

Virginia Bottomley   -   I'm an evil Tory bigot

Michael Heseltine   -   Elect him, he's alien

David Mellor   -   Dildo marvel

Dame Agatha Christie   -   I am a right death case

The Metropolitan Police Force   -   I'm fellatio, the erect porno cop

Benson and Hedges   -   NHS been a godsend

Selina Scott   -   Elastic snot

Mel Gibson   -   Big melons

Gloria Estefan   -   Large fat noise

Chris Rea   -   Rich arse

Martina Navratilova   -   Variant rival to a man

Gabriela Sabatini   -   Insatiable airbag

Irritable Bowel Syndrome   -   O my terrible drains below

Evangelist   -   Evil's Agent

Desperation   -   A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code   -   Here Come Dots

Mother-in-law   -   Woman Hitler

Semolina   -   Is No Meal

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night??
A: Hanson.

 

 

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose ?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book ?
A: It's called, The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart ?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson ?
A: Get out of my son !!

Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years ?
A: Michael Jackson.

 

 

THINGS TO NEVER SAY TO A COP...
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"